When you’ve had a year as tough as this one, it’s easy to sit back and wonder: Am I really thankful? Maybe you're reading this and thinking I’m being a spoiled brat—and honestly? I’d agree with you (plot twist, right?). But this isn’t a guilt trip for those who’ve had it worse. I see you, I hear you. And that’s why this Thanksgiving, I’m sitting with a simple, but heavy question: Thankful?
Grief has a way of making you feel guilty for finding joy. It’s like, Am I even allowed to be happy? And so, the whole idea of thankfulness gets complicated. No one is thankful for death, of course, but when the rawness of loss forces you to appreciate the fleeting moments you still have, it leaves you wondering: Am I thankful for this?
So, I sat with that question. Really sat with it. I’ve always been grateful for my life—even for the hard moments. But this year? This year was different. It was the first time I’ve truly hated the things that happened to me. It’s been hard to process, hard to accept, and honestly, I’m still figuring it out.
But something this year has shown me is the power of living for someone else. You carry their legacy, their love, their memory. That’s been the greatest lesson I’ve learned—your love for someone doesn’t just disappear. It endures. Even in those moments of joy, when you least expect it, their presence is still with you because your love for them lives on.
And here’s the best way I can describe it.
This past weekend, we celebrated my Aunt Mel’s wedding. Between my siblings, cousins, and I, we've lost four family members this year. Talk about shaking your world to the core. But this wedding? It was the first time in months that we were all together not for a funeral. And we had fun. So much fun. It was also the first time since I was 9 years old that we all took some "nice" cousins photos together. In the middle of all the grief and confusion this year has thrown at us, we found time to laugh, dance, and celebrate. We talked about those we’ve lost, of course, but the love we still carry for them felt so real, it was like they were right there with us.
And for the first time all year, it felt like everything was going to be okay.
So yeah, 2024 threw some punches. But we’ll be okay. Because we’ve got each other. We may annoy the hell out of one another, but no one can break the love we have—or our dance moves.
You can do hard things. And it’s okay if you’re feeling thankful? Life is messy, confusing, and unpredictable. But through it all, love will endure.
So here we are—still standing, still loving, still dancing. Life doesn’t always give us the answers we want, and sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is too much to carry. But in the middle of it all, we find moments of grace, of joy, and of connection that remind us we’re not alone. This year, maybe I don’t have all the answers to what "thankfulness" really means, but I know this: love is what makes it all worthwhile. So here’s to the mess, the beauty, and the love that endures—even when we’re not sure how to feel. And maybe that’s enough for now.
